A number of people raised by homosexual parents have come out in adulthood and spoken honestly and critically about their experiences. The previous story of Heather Barwick is just one of them.
The pattern is consistent. During childhood most were confused, but nevertheless spoke well of their family life. Then, on entering adulthood and finding the wider world, they became aware of the realities and what they had missed, and told their stories.
To speak against decisions of parents who loved them and gave sacrificially for them is, of course, incredibly conflicting, difficult, and brave. That fact gives solid credibility to the stories, and also suggests many more remain untold.
Here are just a few stories. For many more quotes see SFAC Chapter 2.
I am not saying that being same-sex attracted makes one incapable of parenting. My mother was an exceptional parent. This is about the missing parent. If you ask a child raised by a lesbian couple if they love their two mums you will probably get a resounding “yes!” Ask about their father, and you are in for either a painful silence, a confession of gut-wrenching longing, or the recognition that they have a father that they wish they could see more often. The one thing that you will not hear is indifference.
(In homosexual marriage) we are normalising a family structure where a child will always be deprived daily of one gender influence and relationship with at least one natural parent. Our cultural narrative becomes one that, in essence, tells children that they have no right to the natural family structure or their biological parents, but that children simply exist for the satisfaction of adult desires.
I yearned for the affection that my friends received from their dads. I wanted to know what it was like to be held and cherished by a man, what it was like to live with one from day to day…People need to know that some children of gay parents do not agree with gay adoption and marriage, just like some gay people themselves don’t agree with it, either! But you will notice that fact is not making the headlines.
When I was age 11 I was finally able to meet my father, and it was one of the happiest days of my life. I felt stable and at peace for what was probably the first day of my childhood. I saw my future, I saw my heritage, I saw my other family. And that is something I am so grateful to have been given at such a critical time in my development. And I cannot believe that LGBT is trying to push an agenda that says that my feelings are not important. Somebody’s relationship should always be respected, whether it is homosexual or heterosexual; but when it comes to marriage and how closely intertwined marriage is with child reproduction we cannot say “Yes” to homosexual marriage without invalidating a child’s right to both agendas.
(SSM) is not equality for children, this is equality for adults, and the very term “marriage equality” actually offends me, because nobody is thinking about the consequence on the other side of the coin: what comes out of that union. And what comes out of that union is us.
I grew up surrounded by women who said they didn’t need or want a man. Yet, as a little girl, I so desperately wanted a daddy. It is a strange and confusing thing to walk around with this deep-down unquenchable ache for a father, for a man, in a community that says men are unnecessary.
Many of us (children of same-sex parents) are too scared to speak up and tell you about our hurt and pain, because for whatever reason it feels like you are not listening. That you don’t want to hear. If we say we are hurting because we were raised by same-sex parents, we are either ignored or labelled a hater.
I cherish my mother’s memory, but I don’t mince words when talking about how hard it was to grow up in a gay household. Earlier studies examined children still living with their gay parents, so the kids were not at liberty to speak, governed as all children are by filial piety, guilt, and fear of losing their allowances. For trying to speak honestly, I’ve been squelched, literally, for decades.
Both marriage and adoption (for gay couples) involve using the force of the state to force unwilling children into emotional relationships with people who are not their parents – and this coercion is permanent, hurtful and discriminatory, insofar as all children have a mother and father but children placed in same-sex-couple homes are stripped of one of these two figures without their consent.
AS a dependent child and teen, I was not allowed to say anything that would hurt or offend the feelings of adults around me. If I did, I could face ostracism or worse. Due to media silencing, political correctness, GLBT lobbying efforts and loss of freedom of speech, it is very hard to tell my story. But I am not alone. Over 50 adult children from alternative households have contacted me. Very few children will share their stories publicly.
B. N. Klein
I grew up with a parent and her partner in an atmosphere in which gay ideology was used as a tool of repression, retribution and abuse. I lived with gay abuse for years… By the time I was 11, I also found that the gay community had an obsessive, unhealthy invasive preoccupation with their children’s sexuality. They in fact encouraged sexuality – because “they were open…” I do not believe that children abused in the gay community have the ability to safely come forward or be received and protected and believed. In the current climate, people are too afraid of being called homophobe and a bigot… Within the gay community abusers have complete impunity and complete protection from a code of honour that puts gay adults first. Then there is a network of social and legal services that do not and will never consider the best interests of a child. If you imagine that children are not aware of this you are mistaken. I certainly knew that no one would help me ever no matter what.
B. N. Klein – submission to the US Court of Appeal, fifth circuit in 2014. (SFAC P 84-85.)
Only the hardest of hearts could say those stories were not convincing and compelling. Few readers would remain untouched by them. There is quite enough there to say “That is enough. Same sex marriage should not happen.”
The fact that most of these people reached their conclusions only after entering mature adulthood and leaving the home has obvious implications for surveys of children and teens raised by homosexuals, which are often used to justify SSM.
And in the light of these stories, surely some astute homosexuals would have the integrity and courage to speak out against same-sex marriage and these consequences.
Well many do. The bold and the brave. Look at the next section – Gays Speak Out.