Heather Barwick was raised by lesbian parents. She wrote this open letter to The Federalist in March 2015.
Dear Gay Community, your kids are hurting.
“I am writing to you because I am letting myself out of the closet. I don’t support gay marriage. But it might not be for the reason that you think. It’s not because you’re gay. I love you so much. It’s because of the nature of the same-sex relationship itself. Growing up, and even into my twenties, I supported and advocated for gay marriage. It’s only with some time and distance from my childhood that I’m able to reflect on my experiences and recognise the long term consequences that same-sex parenting had on me and it’s only now, as I watch my children loving and being loved by their father each day, that I can see the beauty and wisdom in traditional marriage and parenting.“
This story is not isolated. And the issues boil down to this:
It is the birthright of every child to be raised by their biological mother and father, and children do best in that environment.
Sometimes death of a parent or other life situations fracture this ideal, but it should be upheld whenever that is within our power.
And when it is not possible for a child to be raised by biological parents, it is:
- the right of the child
- and in the best interests of the child
- to receive the unique care of a mother
- and a father
Mums and dads are different, and each is vital in a child’s upbringing. Again, that is not discriminatory against homosexuals. It is simply stating the obvious.
SSM conflicts with these rights – it clearly denies children the right to either a father or a mother.
Some might argue that adoption by homosexual couples is already legal in many states, so SSM laws would make no difference. The fact is SSM laws do make a difference. SSM laws validate and strengthen misdirected adoption laws, leading to increased numbers of children adopted to homosexual couples, and that has proven to be the case in countries which have embraced SSM.